The cashier at the grocery store this morning asked if I’d “contribute to the fight against Easter seals.”
I had no idea they were such a threat.
Now all I can think of is armies of fanatical, feral pinnipeds with rabies, Korans, and floppy bunny ears landing in force on our shores. Join me in the fight! Defend America from the incursion of seal hordes!

(Artist’s conception)
Hmmm perhaps THIS is the “easter seals” fight everyone should be joining.